Where do i start…
My first submissive he became formally known as Dr Sextus. A 27 year old submissive male. I met him on kinkd in April 2017 he was in and out of my BDSM life for the next 8 months until he dropped off the face of the earth.
A little bit about him without giving away to much. As i said he was 27 years old and had just completed his doctorate degree. He was well spoken and obviously well educated. He was also experienced in the scene and at the time i had only dabbled with an ex boyfriend. He was tall, dark and handsome what every aspiring mistress wants. Unfortunately Dr Sextus was also very unreliable and self-involved.
We talked for a few months before we actually met but we had both discussed our desires at length. I felt a strange connection with him and he always managed to pull me back in after many of his disappearing acts. We exchanged photos and naughty stories or fetishes. Before i’d even met him i knew i wanted him to be my first real sub.
After months of no shows and rearranging i had finally given up. Then he reappeared causally out the blue and i stuck it to him meet me or leave me. He decided to actually show up. I was a nervous, anxious but excited mess. I’m this strong confident dominant woman and i’m panicking. I checked my lingerie set a million times and reapplied my lipstick ten million times, i must have actually looked like a drag queen when he arrived at my front door.
Anyone who tells you they weren’t nervous the first time they dominated their first submissive is lying. I’m going to be completely honest i was shitting bricks. Even though i had spoken to this guy for months and he knew exactly how i looked and i knew exactly how he looked that fear of not being what each other expected is completely real. Luckily we were what we each expected even if i was wearing far to much make up. He walked into my living room like he’d been there before and sat down on the sofa to talk through the finer details. I sat opposite to him in my black lingerie covered by a pink ‘entertaining kimono’, black fish net stocking and my killer black heels. I sipped on my glass of wine and we talked about our day and how it was nice to finally meet one another. Dr Sextus was incredibly charming i felt myself getting more and more excited about what was about to take place.
Lets take a moment to go over what has just happened… I have met a guy online exchanged phone numbers, talked for a few months sent some pictures and now he is sitting in my living room waiting to be sent upstairs where he is going to submit to me. Wow when you think about it the situation is risky. Would i want my daughter doing this ummm NO. To make it clear i did tell my friends he was coming over and i kept in contact with them throughout the evening. I shouldn’t have had the glass of wine as that was putting not just myself but my sub in danger. I have never done it since. The moral of this part of the story is be safe. Safety is key.
I genuinely don’t have the words to describe the elation that first time a sub is presented before you. The feeling of happiness, nerves, excitement, fear and everything in between. I can describe the setting perfectly i can even remember the smells. That moment the feeling of complete control is personally the best feeling in this world. I could go into describing every intricate detail but that is not the reason for this blog. I want to explain the feelings the emotions that go with becoming or even being a mistress.
Once the session ended we talked for a short period and then fell asleep. He left early the next morning as he had an early start. That day i felt like a new me. I felt like i could conquer the world and i was now incredibly excited to do it all over again.
We had a few more sessions spread out over the forthcoming months but as i had already mentioned Dr Sextus was highly unreliable and he continued to cancel or not appear. The end of our wield and wonderful relationship occurred in the most imprudent way. He messaged me begging for my forgiveness for his incessant behaviour and as i said he always managed to pull me back in even when i had completely given up hope. I agreed on us meeting and gave him a specific time. You can probably guess from the story so far what is about to happen, that’s right he didn’t show. I decided there was no point in asking him what had happened and that like normal i would receive a half hearted excuse in a few days. Dr Sextus never gave me that excuse because the following day he completely deleted me from his life.
That was my first hard lesson as an aspiring mistress. Although i did not love this man, he was the first to break my Mistress heart.